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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Broken and Bleeding's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
11:41 pm
[fine_clarity]
The anti-cheerfulness sign
This userpic is the anti-cheerfulness sign. Other people may copy and distribute it freely, such as by adding it to your userpics.

I have created this sign because cheerfulness is a blind vulgar emotion that is largely responsible for the world's problems. It causes the behavior of deliberately ignoring and distracting from problems.

Cheerfulness is not only epidemic in it's commonness; it is also frequently promoted, by such people and mediums as advertisers, school faculty that compel children to smile for school pictures, parents that compel their children to smile for pictures, smiley stickers, internet smileys, dysgenicists that promote 'personality' as a desirable trait in mates, and miscellaneous mediums. Therefore, this graphic was created to counter them.
Sunday, October 1st, 2006
11:39 pm
[my_self_improve]
Hello. I am new here. The reason that I have created this journal, is because I honestly despise myself. I know that with all that I have now, I should be happy, but I still hate myself. Please do not tell me that I don't have it that bad and that I need to suck it up and get over it. I have heard it all before and I am sick and tired of it. In middle school, I was ignored by everyone and it was as if I was invisible. I thought that there was something wrong with me. People also picked on me because I was different. I began to hurt myself. I also developed an eating disorder. I went through therapy and my therapist yelled at me to suck it up because I had been getting better and then I was getting worse again. So I lied that I was better to get myself out of therapy. I want to be my own person and live my own life, but at home I have to pretend to be a different person. I want to be eternally a child and have people take care of me. I want to be submissive. I don't expect people to, but I will ask them if they want want and if no one wants to take care of me, then I'll learn to take care of myself. I lied and said that I didn't want that kind of lifestyle and I pretend that I'm grown-up just so my family will leave me the hell alone. My dad said that if I went with the lifestyle I had wanted, he didn't think he could love me anymore. My mother is a hypocrit and is so annoying. She'll sit through a whole meal and not ask for something and then when it's finished, she's upset that we didn't offer any to her. My parents are overprotective and controlling. My sister thinks that she is always right and it annoys the hell out of me. People still make fun of me because I am different. One girl even had the nerve enough to take a picture of me without my permission and post it on MySpace as a joke. People really freaking suck and so do therapists. I don't think that I'll ever be good enough or anything enough. That is why I created this journal for self-improvement. I have other things in my life that are positive but I just felt like ranting about the crap. Please do not critisize me.
Monday, June 12th, 2006
2:35 pm
[lemonbox]
Save The Furries!
I don't know if this is okay,
but I didn't find that is was written as forbidden?


I've become a foster parent for two kittie families of BARC.

Until last night I had 2 nursing mothers & 6 babies(3 each).
As of 12:48am this morning, I lost one.
I spent all of yesterday & last night with her, but she just wasn't strong enough.

One of my kittie families is very sick. They contracted some sort of virus inside the shelter before I picked them up.... now they are battling for their lives. One of the kittens seemed healthy, & I seperated her out immidiately. She is doing well & has been adopted(so to speak) by my own kitties.

The remaining kitten & it's mother are very sick. Not doing well at all!

The mother is coughing & sneezing & is absolutely dripping mucus. Very dehydrated.
She is pretty miserable. She has stopped eating & as a result has stopped producing milk for the baby.
We'd essentially been force feeding her, but this stresses her out so, it's almost not worth it.

The baby is very hopefull, & can be coaxed to eat goats milk & wet cat food.
She still isn't intaking enough. She's catching her mother's illness.
Her dehydration has reached a level that causes horrible diarreah.
This means that none of the benifits of her eating is sticking.

They both need medication, IV fluids, & much much more.

BARC can/will only cover this for a moment.
They will provide some of the IV fluids & medication.
These animinals need much much more.

I'm asking all of you now, please help me!
I'm requesting donations from anyone & everyone.
Anything you can give. Everything helps!
Without this vital assistance, they will die too!

When making a donation, if you'd like updates on these babies...
Comment in your contact info. We can send you pictures & info of their(hopefull) progress.

Thank you!








if donate button fails,
you can donate via paypal to friendsoffurries@yahoo.com


X-Posted
Friday, February 24th, 2006
5:47 pm
[monkeygurl01]
i know this might be a little desperate and scary.....but umm.....if anyone can give me a gun, i will give you everything i have. i have almost $5000 in my bank account.....i live in PHiladelphia. if anyone can help me, i swear it will be worth it. IM me on bornconfuzed87 if ure interested
Friday, October 21st, 2005
6:06 am
[gaye_chan]
Sorry to interupt again but...
I felt this was important enough to bring up. If the community leaders feel it's innappropriate I will understand if this and my previous posts are pulled. Thankyou for your time.

http://www.highbeam.com/library/doc0.asp?DOCID=1G1:76012866&refid=ip_search
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
11:41 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
so alone
im so sick of feeling all alone,
i dont want to be by myself anymore i want someone to be there for me, to comfort me and no matter how much i push them away if they no something is wrong they will stay to make sure that im ok not for them to just say msg me tomorrow and tell me how you are. tomorrow i will seem fine but its tonight, now that im not ok and needed him but he isnt here. nothing will ever fill the empty hole i have inside me it stays there every minute of every day, it never leaves not even for a second. i want to show my dad how much he has hurt us and what he did so he can feel what we do everyday let him be overwhelmed by guilt. i no i never can show him and i can never make him feel the guilt and pain of leaving us here to hurt and cry for his absence that is needed and as much as i hate him i also love him so much more... 8 years he has been gone in 13minutes, the 24th of september.. that date will never leave my mind nor be forgotten just like he wont he is always at least in the back of my mind. i always wonder how things would be if he were here but that i will never know.

Current Mood: crushed
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
9:08 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
hey.. sorry havn't been on for ages... so much shits been happening since i was last on... i went out with this guy but we broke up. at first it was so good it couldnt have gotten better but then all we did was fight so we ended it. i was fine at first but now im not so sure i got really attached. i have a new boyfriend now but he is just like my other one. if i dont answer my phone or wb straight away he gets cut and he does so many things that remind me of him. i havnt cut for so long but now all those urges are coming back and they feel so good... i miss the feeling of the blade sliding across my skin and the feeling of relief it brings... it will never disapoint me and it's always there no matter what...

Current Mood: exhausted
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
1:33 pm
[randmconstructs]
New Community-- Prayer For India!


Greetings one and all,

This community is being established for those who desire to pray for India, have a heart for India, who are Indian (living anywhere), are missionaries in India, or just want to check out what God is doing in that large region. The purpose of this community will be cultural exchange between regions of India (anything from Divali to Desi food recipes to religious/cultural study to Bollywood), understanding, keeping up with news and needs of India, and correspondences between all affiliated with India in some way.

I look forwards to seeing what God will accomplish as we all gather together with one purpose.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/prayerforindia
 
--- all welcome to join ---

++will be cross-posted++
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
5:57 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
hey just wantd ur opinion on this song... be honest if it sux say so pleeze...

you just betrayed me
whn i was faithful to you
i thought this would never end
not after what we've been through
what did i do that pushed you away
and made you leave me?

chorus:
i'm falling away now
further now into my mind
remembering you
the pain, the betrayal
your lies are killing me.

now i'm standing here about to leave
this will be m last night here
i look at the water and see your face
once so comforting
but now i can only see the lies and pain
this is the one place i could go to feel safe.

chorus

i watch as my tears fall into the darkness
my heart is damaged beyond repair
i have no life without you here
bu the life i had with you was fake
so tonight i will write my final goodbye
so everyone will know why i have died

chorus

you are killing me...
you just killed me...

Current Mood: calm
Saturday, May 21st, 2005
9:35 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
WHY DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD JUST IGNORE ME?
AND ACT AS IF I WASN’T EVEN THERE
THE WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING
YOU WOULD SOMETIMES REMEMBER I WAS ALIVE
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST SAY I LOVE YOU
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?
DID YOU THINK I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU
HAD IGNORED MY CALLS AND ACTED AS IF I MEANT NOTHING?
OR DID I REALLY ONLY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
BUT THE WORDS I LOVE YOU MEANT NOTHING TO ME
NOT WHEN I WOULD HERE THEM
AFTER YOU HAD JUST PRETENDED I DID NOT EXIST
WHY WAS IT ONLY WHEN EVERYONE HAD GONE
THAT YOU COULD REMEMBER WHO I AM?
I WISHED THAT FOR JUST ONE DAY
YOU COULD PRETEND TO CARE
AS MUCH AS YOU SAID YOU DID…
BUT I GUESS I MUST HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR TOO MUCH
BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVEN TRIED…

Current Mood: crazy
Friday, April 8th, 2005
8:06 pm
[psycho]
Below me you sit and watch for me to fall
an imperfect melody caressing my bruised skin
you grasp my throat, i beg
please, strangle me
i can see it in your eyes, you want to
its the only way you can touch my broken flesh
i cannot stare at your tempting lips
forget me
im the bone in your body that will snap
im nothing but trouble
leave me here
its where i belong

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
9:25 pm
[hydrogen_lakes]
Monday, March 21st, 2005
3:44 pm
[girlxlnterupted]
New
I just joined the community. Was wondering if anyone caught that episode of the show "Intervention" last night. It was the most graphic portrayl of a cutter I've ever seen. Triggering yet beautiful at the same time.

Current Mood: I Don't Care
12:06 pm
[hydrogen_lakes]
Okay, so my sister and I were talking... not in person, but via IM. She was telling me about her past and how she wasn't exactly as "perfect" as we all thought she was. She hasn't told my parents this, and she didn't tell our older sister. But she was raped when she was fifteen. She doesn't want me to tell anyone, but I really think she should let my parents know. Advice?

[Reyn]

Current Mood: awake
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
2:29 am
[psycheros1]
Age.
Are there anyone in here in their 20's. I have only seen a couple of ages and yous are young. Im I the oldest cutter here. Hell that would be very emmbarasing.
LOL
Psycheros.

Current Mood: apathetic
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
3:45 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
cant take it no more
hey havnt posted in a while coz of everything and here goes with what has happened...
well me and michael are definately over this time i fucked up real bad. istarted 2 get feelings 4 sum1 else nd my best friend (michaels sister) told him and now he hates me but i never cheated tho he doesn blieve me. its caused stuff wit me and the guy i startd 2 like as well...
then 2day my best friend told me how i deserved everything michael said to me about how he hates me, i fucked him over and that he hopes nothing ever goes right 4 me again. then just 2 really top it off she said that i only cut my wrists 4 attention and that really hurt bcoz she was the onyl person i told bout that well otha ppl new but not wht she did...
i really want to die and now i just keep cutting and i have nothing to live 4 but nthing will change bcoz no1 blieves y i cut. i cant stand being here anymore everything i do fucks up. i was fine till this all happened i was even thinking about throwing out all the razors and the bandana i use when i cut... luckily iheld onto them they came in usefull 2day.

Current Mood: lonely
3:30 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
will you save her???
AS THE BLOOD RUNS DOWN HER ARM
SHE CALLS OUT YOUR NAME
BUT YOU’RE NOT LISTENING
SO MANY TIMES YOU’VE HAD THE CHANCE TO SAVE HER
BUT YOU STILL TURN AWAY
AREN’T YOU SCARED TO LOSE HER?
YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE HER
SO WHY DON’T YOU TRY INSTEAD OF PRETENDING SHE DOESN’T EXIST?
SHE’S SLOWLY FALLING FURTHER AWAY
SHE STILL LOVES YOU
BUT DOESN’T KNOW YOU LOVE HER TOO
ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE HER
OR JUST STAND ASIDE AND WATCH WHILE SHE DIES?

Current Mood: depressed
3:29 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
MY HEADS SPINNING AROUND
EVERYTHING’S MOVING WAY TOO FAST
NOTHINGS IN CLEAR FOCUS
I CAN ONLY SEE BITS AND PIECES
IT WON’T SLOW DOWN
I’M FALLING NOW
I CAN’T KEEP UP
LIFE’S MOVING WAY TOO FAST
I NEED SOMEONE TO CATCH ME
TO BRING ME BACK DOWN TO EARTH
I’M CALLING OUT “PLEASE DON’T LET ME GO”
I CAN’T STAND BEING ALONE
THROUGH THE SPINNING PICTURES THAT IS MY LIFE
THERE IS ONE CLEAR VISION IT DOESN’T MOVE
EVERYTHING’S SLOWING DOWN
I TRY TO HOLD ON TO THE IMAGE
BUT IT’S STARTING TO FADE AWAY
THERE’S SOMETHING STOPPING ME FROM LEAVING THIS PLACE
I TURN AROUND AND SEE YOU THERE
STANDING NEXT TO ME YOU’RE PULLING ME BACK
I’M CRYING AND UPSET, BUT STILL YOU HOLD ON
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT TO LEAVE
YOU WON’T LET ME GO.
THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW
AND THINGS HAVE CHANGED,
YOU ARE GONE
THE ONE PERSON KEEPING ME ALIVE
AND YOU’VE LEFT
BUT YOU DIDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE,
THE KNIFE IS STILL HERE…

Current Mood: confused
Friday, February 11th, 2005
6:20 pm
[chainedfreak]
hmm
well i am new to this place.. i just needed a place to well talk to people who have the same feeling within as me.. i am extreamly suicidal and i cut just about every single day. i know it just how i deal with my pain but its mostly because i get harresed from people because they don't understand me.. (i am a goth/ punkish person) well i am just hopeing that someone can understand how i feel everyday of my life that i should die and i can't help it. well i will proebly post more another day.
Meg

Current Mood: depressed
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
9:05 pm
[3van3sc3nc3]
IF I WAS TOO....
IF I WAS TO FALL WOULD YOU CATCH ME?
IF I WAS REALLY HURT WOULD YOU HELP ME AND TAKE THE PAIN AWAY?
WHAT IF I WAS DIEING WOULD YOU STAY WITH ME AND MAKE MY LAST MOMENTS THE BEST EVER?
WELL I'M HURTING MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE...
I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING FURTHER AWAY FROM EVERYONE, UNABLE TO STOP...
AND INSIDE I'M SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY DIEING...
BUT YOU'RE NOT HERE...

Current Mood: depressed
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